Forgiveness

I have contemplated forgiveness a lot lately.  And I've wanted to include it in my gratitude blog; but it's one of those things I feel deserves contemplation and worthy-writing.  So I've put it off. 

But I am so eternally grateful for forgiveness.  On so many levels.

First and foremost, I am grateful for the forgiveness afforded me through the Atonement of my Savior.  I am a flawed individual, because I am human.  I make mistakes on a daily basis.  Some are bigger and of more consequence than others.  In my lifetime, I have made choices that were not the best.  Choices not in keeping with the things I was taught by my parents.  Choices not pleasing to my Heavenly Father and my Savior.  Choices for which there were (as there always are) consequences -- many of those not happy ones.  I have known feelings of guilt and sorrow.  But, through the repentance process, I've been washed clean.  I've been forgiven.  And I have felt the weight lifted.  It is a thing hard to describe, other than to say I can remember the wrongs I've done and the way I felt as a result, but the sting of guilt is gone.  And that is how I know I have been forgiven.  And that, as He promised, the Lord remembers those sins no more.  How grateful I am to understand that feeling of forgiveness.

I'm also grateful for the forgiveness extended to me by others.  Sometimes even when I don't deserve it.  As I said, I have made many, many mistakes.  There have been nights in which I have lain awake remembering things I have done which are regrettable.  These may not be grievous immoral sins, but they are things I ought not to have done.  An unkind word, a snide comment, a spread of gossip.  Sometimes it has been even milder than that:  envy, jealousy (things that only ate away at me).  As I've gotten older, (and hopefully wiser), I have seen more and more where I have been wrong.  Quick to judge harshly.  Willing to be petty due to jealousy.  I have, at times, chosen to apologize to some of the individuals.  Sometimes those people had no idea I felt the way I felt.  Or sometimes they figured I didn't like them, but didn't know why.  In the times I have taken the time to write those people and apologize for my behavior -- and explaining to them the why (which was usually some petty jealousy or envy on my part), they have forgiven me.  And I have appreciated that forgiveness.  And been given the opportunity to change my attitude and see the wonderful people they are.  And to be blessed by their kindness.  And much closer to home, I know I have needed forgiveness from my family.  From those I love most in this world.  Because I have rolled my eyes in frustration at my husband...  I have gotten irritated at my mom...  I have criticized my brother.  But they have forgiven me.  And for that, I am grateful.  It gives me the chance to be better than I was before.  To try again.

And I'm grateful I have the opportunity to forgive others.  I may not always be good at it.  But I do have the opportunity.  Like every person on this earth, I have been hurt at one time or another.  Intentionally, or unintentionally.  It happens.  We live in a fallen world.  And at times, it's hard to remember that there have been times I have hurt someone.  But obviously there have been.  And just like I have hoped for forgiveness when I am in the wrong, I must try to forgive when someone else is.  It can be a phenomenally difficult thing to do.  There are some pains that cut so deep, it may feel the hurt will never stop.  But we are required to forgive.  And I believe we can have help from above, when we earnestly seek to do what is asked of us.  It may take time, but I believe we can succeed through the mercy and enabling power of the Atonement.  And I am grateful I have had opportunities to learn to forgive.  That I will continue to have those opportunities.  It is helping me to grow and become better.  And it is helping me to understand more about my Savior, who He is, and what He did for me.

And perhaps my thoughts aren't as fluid as I'd hoped.  Perhaps I have not done this grateful topic justice.  But I am grateful for forgiveness.  That it exists.  That it is possible.  Because without it, I think all would be lost.  But with it...  With it, there is beautiful hope.

What are you grateful for today?