Baby Snuggles

For about the first two and a half months of her life, our baby girl wanted to be held constantly.  She would not sleep during the day unless she was sleeping on me.  And at night...  At night, I had to hold her for about 30 minutes after she fell asleep -- until she was in a deep sleep -- before I could put her down and have a hope that she wouldn't awaken the minute her body touched her mattress.  And this happened every time she woke up to eat.

Those were hard days.  Not because I didn't enjoy holding that sweet baby.  But because I got so little sleep, and I felt like a walking zombie most of the time.  Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I needed to cherish those moments, even in spite of my desire to be able to crawl into bed as soon as possible and get some sleep.  But I knew those moments would be fleeting.  And I knew I would miss them.

And I do.  Because our little angel puts herself to sleep now.  She just started doing it on her own one night.  And while the sleep has been a wonderful thing, I do miss the feeling of my sweet baby sleeping on me. 

But when she's really tired, at the end of the day, I still get my baby snuggles.  We finish her bottle in the glider in her room, and I put her up on my shoulder and she snuggles into the crook of my neck and dozes with her little arms splayed out across my neck and arm.  And I whisper to her how much I love her as I sit there gliding.  I thank her for being my sweet little girl.  I tell her how thankful I am she is mine.  Sometimes I sing to her.  I tell her what a blessing she is in my life.  I tell her that I know she'll grow up and we'll have our moments -- like all mothers and daughters do, but that I will always love her.  No matter what. 

And while I want so much to sit there and hold her all night now -- even if it means no sleep for me -- I know there are still "mommy chores" to do.  Dishes to wash.  Bottles to wash.  Laundry to fold.  And so I put her in her crib and let her sleep.

But for those few minutes each night, I hold my baby and cherish her snuggles.  For those few moments, it's just her and me.  In those few moments, my day becomes complete.

What are you grateful for today?