New Perspectives

As I've gotten older, I've noticed that life has a way of helping me change my perspectives.

The truth is this:  I have the capacity to be harsh, cold, judgmental, and mean.  None of those things are flattering.  I am not proud to say they are part of my natural tendency.

I am thankful I can say I feel I am LESS of those things as the years pass.

And that's thanks to life, and probably a loving Heavenly Father who has given me opportunities to gain perspective through situations.  Some of them of my own making (and He allowed me to experience the consequences), some of them through the blessings and tender mercies He has so lovingly bestowed upon me.

One of the examples of this I can clearly remember was my very harsh judgments of Jennifer Lopez (the actress).  I'm not a fan of her in general -- and it's not like I know her personally.  But I remember clearly the mean things I thought and said after she divorced her husband Chris (can't remember his last name) after 9 months of marriage.  All I could think of was how she treated lightly the institution of marriage -- how she didn't put any effort into the marriage, etc etc etc.  Well, who was I to judge her (and how did I know what efforts she put into the marriage)?  Because while I don't think divorce is a cure-all or a solution to every unhappiness in marriage...  While I do think it seems easier sometimes to throw in the towel than to keep pushing and working through things when the going gets tough...  While I do think far too many marriages end in divorce...  My perspective has changed, and I've learned not to be so harsh and cruel and judgmental.  Because only a couple years after my harsh judgments of Jennifer Lopez, I found myself a divorcee after only 3 years.  And I knew the pain and anguish that had come with that.  I know that there are sometimes reasons for things that not everyone knows or understands.  Before... did it ever occur to me that perhaps Ms. Lopez had sleepless nights filled with heart-ache and loss at the dissolution of her marriage?  No.  I was far too focused on what I (in my infinite wisdom -- HA) felt was wrong about the situation.  I lacked compassion.  And while it was not the way I would have preferred to gain a little bit of new perspective in my life to help me be a better person...  It is what happened in my life.  And I am grateful for the new perspective... the ability to be kinder because of experience.

And motherhood...  That has changed me more than anything else I could probably have experienced.  As I look at my baby girl playing on the floor happily...  As I hold her and snuggle her in the glider before I put her in the crib at nap-time, and especially at night...  As I hear her laugh and watch her smile...  I often am nearly brought to tears at the love I feel for this little girl.  It is a love I cannot describe, but one which I know other mothers fully comprehend.  As I mentioned before, I have an unfortunate ability to be judgmental.  And, though never aloud, I have certainly had opinions about people I've viewed as "less" or even "contemptible" (in my eyes).  The man begging on the street corner...  The frazzled woman who doesn't seem coherent and appears unkempt...

But since having our baby and spending every day with her.  Since experiencing love I've never fully understood or felt for someone else before...  I've found myself wondering what my little girl will be like in the years ahead.  Will she make choices that lead her down a path to where she may be viewed the way I have viewed others?  And so, I have had moments when I see those others and stop for a moment before I judge.  I stop and realize that, once upon a time, that man... that woman... was a little baby.  A baby whose mother (hopefully) loved them and showed that love.  (I say hopefully, because, though I'd rather it not be true, I do know that some children do not have that love.)  That man or woman may still have a mother living somewhere that loves them as much as I love my baby girl.  (And, because I believe family relationships exist beyond the grave, I believe even if that mother isn't still living, she probably still loves her child.)

And more importantly, that man or woman has a Heavenly Father who loves him or her beyond my comprehension.  Because he or she is His child.  Just as I am. 

So who am I to judge?

I'm grateful for new perspectives, even if, at times, they have been hard-won.  Because I am grateful for opportunities to be a better person.  Chances to change for the better.  And I'm grateful that I can change because of the Atonement.

What are you grateful for today?

I feel like this might be a little disjointed...  I started writing it this morning and contemplated deleting it...  But then I went to church and listened to a talk on charity and kindness and love...  Listened to a story about not judging.  And I felt like it was a tender mercy meant for me.  And so I published this tonight.